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race. let’s talk about it.


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I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about race and identity.  When you aren’t white, or all-white, race comes up a lot.  Sometimes people are racist, but mostly people are just curious. I look at my kids’ friends and classmates and there are so many other multi-racial kids.  Of course this makes me happy, but I’m afraid that it also lulls me into a false sense of security. Security in the notion that they will grow up not being confronted by the tough issues related to their own race and racial identity. That they won’t face race-based discrimination. The truth is, I know that they will.  And talking about it makes me feel better and less fearful.  I want to be as prepared as I can be to help them wade into those waters and that all starts with talking about it.  Today, I’m talking to one of my best friends, Diandra Ritchie, an attorney and diversity and inclusion expert about growing up bi-racial and what race means to her.
so, let’s talk about race. why not? you’re half white but were raised by two strong black women, your mom and grandmother. how did they teach you about race growing up?
my mom was very direct about it – “you’re black.” she always referred to the “1 drop rule” and raised me to understand that i was a strong, independent black woman. she assumed people would always view me as black as well. she didn’t anticipate my actual life experience, which is the majority of people assuming i’m white. she never referred to me as bi-racial or having mixed heritage. my whiteness was never addressed. a large part of that was the absence of my white dad and his family. my dad’s father did not like that his son married a black woman, and my dad’s parents were constantly begging him to get divorced, even offering to pay for it. my parents did divorce when i was around 1, and my dad’s father prohibited the family from talking to me after that. my dad might make an appearance every few years, but i had no contact with the rest of that family until i was 28, after my grandfather passed. i simply didn’t know him or that side of the family. growing up with my mom and her side of the family framed the way i viewed and identified myself. i grew up with the black side of my family, in predominantly black neighborhoods and schools, going to a black church. so my identity and my surroundings revolved around being black.
my grandmother wasn’t so direct. she didn’t really address race or racial identity with me growing up.  she always reiterated that color didn’t matter. but if i liked a boy who was white, there was always the question of “why?”, which i found strange given my mom had married someone white. “birds of a feather flock together” was my grandmother’s take. but i always wondered – what is my bird? is it a bi-racial bird? specifically a black and white bird? is it a light skinned black bird? is it a white bird? i didn’t know who my “flock” was supposed to be. so i went on with my life, liking whomever i liked.
how do you feel about being multi-racial, looking the way that you do and how people react to you? 
only as an adult have i embraced the term “bi-racial” or “multi-racial.” i love being multi-racial overall, especially looking the way that i do. i feel like i’m a walking lesson on why stereotypes are ridiculous. and perhaps that’s why i love it – i don’t fall neatly into any racial categories. i hope i challenge the way some people view race – that making judgments about a person’s character and their abilities based on their melanin content is irrational. with so many multi-racial people out there, it is becoming more and more difficult to put people in a nice, neat race box. we’re finally gotten around to letting people choose more than one race box on forms, but culturally, i think we are still trying to fit people into one box. categorization is a natural human function. sizing people up in a second or two is also very natural. it’s part of our survival instinct. the issue is – what is informing those split-second categorizations? is it fear? a stereotype? a former bad experience that is being projected onto the present? it is just lack of experience? i’m sure it’s a combination of things for all of us. i hear people whom i would otherwise think intelligent say things to me like, “you’re not really black.” i’m still unsure what this means, but i’ve gathered they’re saying i don’t comport with their view of black people and therefore i’m not black. i’m not sure what informs this view – skin tone? speech? dress?
i have not always liked being different. when i was younger i hated drawing so much attention from strangers – “what are you?” “what are you mixed with?” i understand now it was just curiosity for the most part, but i would get annoyed that i couldn’t just walk down the street without having to tell someone what my racial components were. i think people are mostly nice about it, even when they’re shocked. these days no one knows what i am which i find at once irritating and curious. i recently visited turks and caicos in may this year. the island is predominantly black and everyone there knew i was black, which i really enjoyed. and it sounds strange to say that, but it was nice to actually be taken for what i view myself as. in america, i’m white which is not how i identify myself at all. the whole rachel dolezal thing really struck a nerve with me because i actually wondered if people would think that i was a white woman trying to pass herself off as black. i am not sympathetic to her, and i don’t believe in being transracial. you are or you aren’t. there is no in between for me, even though i am literally in between two races.
i want our kids to grow up with a sense of their racial and ethnic backgrounds, to understand what they are and to be proud of all aspects of their heritage but i struggle with how, and how much to talk about it with them, what are your thoughts on that? 
race was always an important topic for my mother, but i wished she had explained why when i was younger. she had very similar experiences being a light skinned black woman. it would have been more helpful for me if she had put her advice in the context of her experiences. as a teen, i naturally thought my mom couldn’t understand anything i was going through. as an adult, i see she understood perfectly. her experiences were slightly different because she got a lot of bad treatment from her white classmates, and occasionally their parents. my experience was different because most of the bad treatment i got came from some of my black classmates. my whiteness was the thing to make fun of. but when these people were calling me white or making fun of my light skin, it didn’t really penetrate because i didn’t see myself as white. sure i knew i had light skin, but black people come in all ranges of color. visually i might not fit in, but that was nothing new to me since that was how it was at home. i got used to looking differently. i didn’t feel like the odd man out, but i knew i was different.
are there any experiences that you remember growing up that had a strong impact on your view of race and who you are today?
in middle school, there was a church pageant. several girls tried out to represent our church at the state pageant. i won, and several of the parents complained that i was not an appropriate representative of the church. they wanted to know why we were sending a white girl to represent our african american methodist episcopal church? i had been going to that church for years, was a very active member, part of the choir, part of the junior ushers. so it hurt when some of the people thought i was not a good representative for our church based on the color of my skin. the irony struck me first. then i thought of the hypocrisy. didn’t hate and bigotry not have a home at church? that’s when i realized that even church is filled with ignorant and hateful people.
high school presented several different experiences that really solidified that people think i’m white. several friends and their parents would use the n-word around me, and when i said something their reply was always “you’re not really black” or “we’re not talking about you.” my friend took me a music show for a band i’d never heard of. i started to notice the crowd was mostly skinheads but paid no attention. when the band came on and everyone started chanting “heil hitler” i knew i had to go. i told my friend i felt uncomfortable being at a skinhead show. her response: “you’re fine. no one here will think you’re black.” i left anyway.
my senior year we had an out of town debate tournament, and we stayed with my friend’s grandmother. once we got there and i started looking around the living room, i noticed a lot of KKK memorabilia and pictures of hooded men, including the same man who kept appearing in a purple robe. i then discovered my friend’s grandfather, who had passed, was a grand dragon in the kkk. i pulled my friend aside, very upset and concerned. i felt this was information i should have been given prior to arriving to spend the night. i was assured it was fine. i said something about being black almost immediately because i wanted to make sure i could really feel comfortable staying there. and her grandmother was lovely but you have to wonder about someone who could be married to a grand dragon and what their personal beliefs must be. was she comfortable with me staying there? her husband was surely rolling over in his grave.
my high school friend wanted me to go with her to visit her dad in beaumont, texas. when she mentioned this to her mom, her mom said, “do you know what they will do to her if they find out she is black?” this hadn’t occurred to my friend because she assumed no one would think that i was black. of course i did not go on that trip.
it is weird identifying one way and having every one else identify you as something else. i’ve felt a lot of frustration over the years with this, but then i realized it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. as long as i know who i am, and i am confident in that, that is all that matters.
you’re a lawyer, what is it like to be part of an even smaller minority, a multi-racial female attorney? 
some law firms and ranking groups don’t even track multiracial individuals in their diversity reports/surveys. and i’m not sure how to take the fact that when i have seen it it’s “self-described multi-racial” designation. i find it weird because isn’t any racial designation on these surveys “self-described?” why should multiracial individuals be treated any differently? why is my designation “self-described,” while the other designations require no qualification?
what are your thoughts on the political situation in the u.s. right now and how we can reconcile it with our hopes for the future? 
i try to stay out of politics and avoid watching the news as much as possible. when donald trump won, my first fear was that all the racist, sexist bigots out there would start to come out in full force. they feel like they have the ok to be an in-your-face racist or sexist. frankly, i prefer it that way. slap me in the face with your racism instead of stabbing me in the back with it. i’d rather know what i’m dealing with. the fact is, racism isn’t dead. sexism isn’t dead. we’ve come far, but have so much further to go. some people would like to think all is well in the world, and now that people aren’t wearing physical shackles, they must be doing ok. but what about the cultural shackles? the mental shackles? the institutional shackles? a problem’s inability to be seen does not make it non-existent. the fact that i’m not experiencing a problem does not also mean one doesn’t exist. we have gotten so self-centered as a society. we have stopped caring about other people. if it doesn’t concern me or mine, i’m not interested. and this just isn’t how a society advances.
recently a friend of mine told me that “he NEVER thinks about race”. I know that he was trying to explain that he is not prejudiced but i couldn’t help but point out to him that never thinking about race (or gender) is a luxury not available to all of us. what do you think people of all backgrounds and races can do to promote equality?
 
i agree – to not think of race or sex is a luxury many of us are not afforded. but as for promoting equality – i think we have to start from the position that we aren’t that different from each other at our cores. we all have complicated lives filled with joy and pain. we all long to be supported and loved, to be able to provide for ourselves and our family, to have opportunities to live our life the way we see fit, and to be as successful as we can be. starting from the position that we’re all human, and then appreciating our many differences is one way to promote equality. we should care about each other and worry when one group’s rights are being, or are threatened to be, trampled. today it’s them, but tomorrow it could be you and yours.
i was a philosophy major and one tenet that i always liked was the veil of ignorance by john rawls. in determining what is a just society, people should think of laws from behind the veil of ignorance – not knowing what position they will take in society, whether they will be rich or poor, white or black. from behind the veil of ignorance, would slavery still be a justifiable institution if you didn’t know whether you’d be slave or master? from behind the veil of ignorance, is racism justifiable if you don’t know whether you’ll be in the majority or the minority?
i understand it can be hard to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. if you think about it, poor people and people of color do it all the time. we try to imagine being on the good side of the coin. but rich people don’t think about being poor. and i’m going to guess most white people are not thinking of what it is like to be black. empathy doesn’t mean understanding the feeling perfectly. it, to me, is a meaningful try to understand and step into another’s shoes. there is always someone doing better, and there is always someone doing worse.

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